Welcome to the OC, b*tches! Just down the coast and a world away from Beverly Hills. There’s a distinct whiff of desperation in the air – can you smell it? Yep, that’s what that is.
Some new tidbits from around the intertubes:
-Donn Gunvalson has been diagnosed with prostate cancer. Poor Donn, he can’t catch a break. At least he’s got a young new yumyum, and kept the chichi house on Lake Havasu in the divorce. Executive living indeed!
-You can buy Alexis Bellino’s old (preworn) clothes at onquestyle.com! Somehow I imagine this opportunity will only be attractive to drag queens and pantysniffers.
-And finally, Tareq Salahi is suing Neal Schon, the Journey guitarist whose circus Michale Salahi ran away with, for $50 million. Best of luck with it all, sirs.
And away we go! We reconvene back at Vicki Gunvalson’s brown-is-here family home, complete with Playboy Mansion-style pool, water features, and grotto. Nothing says “bring the kids over!” like a grotto. The ladies are rolling in for the opening-night social event, and here’s what we are wearing:
-Vicki has decided to cover up her love-induced weight gain by wearing a black fur vest over her gray jersey sleeveless wrapped-and-wrapped-some-more mess.
-Gretchen is wearing classic OC: an aqua silk minidress with gold braid x-marks-the-solar-plexus halter straps. No back fat, which is aesthetically pleasing.
-Alexis has decided to stretch one of her McTwins’ black leotards up her crevasse and over her ample kabooms, and pair it with a pink pleather Barbie snapping turtleskirt.
-Peggy is attired in a maxi dress in a print best described as a mash up of multiple animal prints and garbage. Her boobs look hard again. So soon?
-The newest Housewife, Heather, is clad in a very simple red-and-black kimono style dress with modest cleave. Setting a tone early.
-And Tamra, God love her, has got on an aubergine silk wrap jumpsuit, for kicking ass. Where’s my cape
Yay Elizabeth! You’re back! Great job, so glad you’re covering OC.
Love this recap!