REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ORANGE COUNTY – 2/15/12

February 15th, 2012 | 2 Comments | Posted in The Real Housewives of Orange County Season 7

Welcome to the OC, b*tches! Just down the coast and a world away from Beverly Hills. There’s a distinct whiff of desperation in the air – can you smell it? Yep, that’s what that is.

Some new tidbits from around the intertubes:

-Donn Gunvalson has been diagnosed with prostate cancer. Poor Donn, he can’t catch a break. At least he’s got a young new yumyum, and kept the chichi house on Lake Havasu in the divorce. Executive living indeed!

-You can buy Alexis Bellino’s old (preworn) clothes at onquestyle.com! Somehow I imagine this opportunity will only be attractive to drag queens and pantysniffers.

-And finally, Tareq Salahi is suing Neal Schon, the Journey guitarist whose circus Michale Salahi ran away with, for $50 million. Best of luck with it all, sirs.

And away we go! We reconvene back at Vicki Gunvalson’s brown-is-here family home, complete with Playboy Mansion-style pool, water features, and grotto. Nothing says “bring the kids over!” like a grotto. The ladies are rolling in for the opening-night social event, and here’s what we are wearing:

-Vicki has decided to cover up her love-induced weight gain by wearing a black fur vest over her gray jersey sleeveless wrapped-and-wrapped-some-more mess.

-Gretchen is wearing classic OC: an aqua silk minidress with gold braid x-marks-the-solar-plexus halter straps. No back fat, which is aesthetically pleasing.

-Alexis has decided to stretch one of her McTwins’ black leotards up her crevasse and over her ample kabooms, and pair it with a pink pleather Barbie snapping turtleskirt.

-Peggy is attired in a maxi dress in a print best described as a mash up of multiple animal prints and garbage. Her boobs look hard again. So soon?

-The newest Housewife, Heather, is clad in a very simple red-and-black kimono style dress with modest cleave. Setting a tone early.

-And Tamra, God love her, has got on an aubergine silk wrap jumpsuit, for kicking ass. Where’s my cape

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