Why hello there! I have a question: is anyone actually watching RHOC? So far only one person I’ve spoken with indicated she has seen the show; I’m hearing from lots of other people that they aren’t watching, and are reading my recap instead (which is nice). So I am watching this show for everyone else? You know what this means? I could make up all kinds of stuff and no one would be the wiser. At this point, my favorite thing happening with RHOC is the commercials for “John Carter”. I have seen a good 20 of these commercials and I still can’t figure out what this movie is about any more than I can make sense of the plotline of the Star Wars: Clone Wars books I read daily to my middle child. But the hell if I care – it’s Tim Riggins in a loincloth! Just delicious. Texas Forever!
Alright, getting back to business here. Let’s recap what’s been happening offscreen this week with our housewives, shall we?
· First of all, according to Reality Tea congratulations are in order for our Tammy Faye Barney and Eddie Judge, who are engaged! They are attempting (and clearly failing) to keep this development a secret until the reunion show. From here forward we can summarily dismiss all this bellyaching about cohabitation and whatnot. Third time will no doubt be the charm.
· And in the same report, Reality Tea connects the dots about the big fancy engagement ring Slippery Slade is considering giving to Gretchen, and determines that the reason he can afford such a pricy symbol of his love is because it’s the same one he gave his first Housefiancee, Jo De La Rosa. Reuse, repurpose, recycle!
· AND: according to a HuffPost writer, Lisa Vanderpump’s spin-off show may have been picked up by Bravo after all. So for those of you who love that Lisa, more is on the way.
· RealFauxHousewives says that Juicy Joe Guidice is in a whole lotta trouble for failing to pay utilities totaling over $50,000 for the tenants of the oh-so-luxurious apartment complex featured in an episode of RHONJ last season (and summarily dismissed by Tree as a potential living arrangement). When the electricity was turned off, Juicy Joe got clever and hooked up a generator! Joe claims that it’s not really his fault as the building is owned by a corporation and they just pay him to manage it. Which is probably perfectly technically true, and no doubt this corporation is Joe and Tree Guidice, Inc., because who else is going to hire a greasy brown Smurf to manage their rental?
· In other East Coast news, the senior ladies of RHONY went on strike for a few weeks this spring when taping ran over. Apparently the ladies sign contracts agreeing to be taped for a specific period of time, and while overruns have been common in the past, when things went longer than she liked the Klassy Kountess staged an insurrection and got Ramoana and Sonja on board. The “insider” (who may or may not be named Alex McCord) says the end result is that the fierce new ladies will get more screen time, so as my Star Wars fan likes to say, “boo-yah!”
· Remember Tamra’s plaintive meowing last week about how she wants to start a business? Well our girl is doing just that! Tamra is opening a fitness studio, which will feature spinning and TRX.
· Remember the Real Housewives of Miami? It looked like they were gone, but no! Filming on season two has begun with a few cast changes, notably (for me) the elimination of Mrs. Scottie Pippen. I suppose the fact that she’s living in suburban Chicago, versus Miami, these days could have something to do with it.
· And finally: a few weeks ago former Housewife Jill Zarin did an event in Dallas with her sister (who is a radio host) and mother about being a Jewish mother, and managed to insult at least some of the attendees with comments about stay-at-home moms. Some guests left and complained, which caused the event hosts to send out a note of apology to all the guests about the quality and nature of the show/presentation/whatever it was. Jill is now taking those haters on, complaining that the event was terribly mismanaged and that none of the problems were her fault, because of course nothing ever is. I’m still hoping we’ll soon hear the last of Jill Zarin.
Slade needs to get a life! I’m so embarrassed for Gretchen that she is dating him. He is not even a man. He is just Gretchen’s little bird. She does not even show any passion or love towards him. Do you really think she loves this LOSER? I think she just loves having a “bitch” around to do her dirty work! Gretchen we all know you want a real man, so dump the loser and get yourself a real guy. There are plenty of hot intelligent men in the OC especially in Newport Beach right where you live. Slade is old news.
I’m totally guilty of having you do my dirty work. I can’t stand these ladies anymore – especially Vicky. So I’ve left it to you to watch the RHOC. But you should take it as a compliment. Your recaps are far more enjoyable than the show. Keep up the good work!
I have been watching but oh my, I can’t stand this version of the Real Housewives. Slade is gross.
You are great!
I read your recap first then watch the show. I love Gretchen but she def needs a new man. I bet she would have a lot more fans if she did ditch slimey. I miss the old oc wives like Tammy.
I only started watching so I could read your recaps!
Still trying to figure out who everyone is, most of them look alike! (I like heather the best too!) Love your recaps!
Biding my time with this show, till RHOBH starts up!
Thanks!
Yep, you are watching RHOC for me…sorry. But your recaps are wayyyyyy better than the real deal, which is painful to watch the last few seasons. I live in the OC and feel grateful for my comparatively normal life and normal friends every time I watch/read about these women and their antics. Thanks for your Fabulous humor, Elizabeth!!! I have many, Many LOL moments reading your recaps! Your sacrifice of actually watching the show so you can put your spin on it, is appreciated =)