REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ORANGE COUNTY – 5/16/12

Aaaaand we’re back. What’s gone on since last we met? Well, the Bachelorette started again and somehow I didn’t even notice. Did you? Also:

* Briana Culberson got married, again! Reality Tea has photos of the special day, which was a destination wedding for about 75 guests. Unclear whether it was filmed for Bravo. Some snark (hmm, perhaps the ex-wife? or maybe – Donn2??) decided to leak information that Briana and Ryan DID in fact start up before his divorce. A gift, of sorts…

* Also per Reality Tea, the Magical Penis is angling for a spot on Celebrity Apprentice! Celebrity being such a flexible word these days, that sounds like an excellent fit. Gretchen, for her part, is dying to be on Dancing With The Stars, but the producers there seem to have decided they draw the line at Housewives so I doubt that will be happening. Plus, you know, she’s practically a professional dancer, so it wouldn’t be fair.

* According to RadarOnline, Tay had a total and complete drunken meltdown on film at an RHOBH spa day in Ojai this past weekend, and the other ladies have about had it, begging her not to drink on camera anymore. What she does in her own time, on the other hand, is her own business. A “source” says that instead of the expected 10 drinks, apparently Tay goes for 20-30, elephant-style.

* Last week I told you the Gorgas were selling their house because they are moving to California to pursue Melissa’s burgeoning career as a SINGAH! Well, apparently the real story is they are broke, which does seem likely. Joe built the house as a spec with an interest-free loan, and when Melissa got cast on RHONJ they decided to upgrade their otherwise unremarkable living arrangements and move on in, since it wasn’t selling anyway. Now the rate has adjusted and they must vacate the premises. So says RadarOnline.

* RadarOnline is also reporting that Donn2 is fed up with filling up Vic’s love tank.

* Some weeks ago I told you that a Real Housewives of Dallas was in development – they have supposedly now signed their contracts and filming has begun, even though Mr. Andy continues to deny, deny.

* And finally, I forget that Bethenny Frankel was ever a Housewife but indeed she was, before she sold the Skinnygirl beverage brand to Jim Beam. Beam has apparently now decided that they need to expand their marketing without Bethenny as the brand image in order to reach that small segment of the world that doesn’t get all their media through Bravo as I do. Not that Bethenny is dropped, they are just adding in other imaging that she’s not part of.

In a somewhat-related subject, I was watching my Tivoed Bethenny Ever After last night while waiting for RHOC to start, and got a blip of an ad for something called Tampax Radiant. Radiant? Do we need tampons that glitter and glow? What’s so wrong with the basic muted mauve?