On to Part 1!
Actually, before we even get started with Part 1, I have to back up to the finale episode and a little tidbit I caught while tonight’s “Social” pop-up rerun was winding up, wherein Vicki describes Donn2 to Ryan the Marine as being “almost 45 years old”. Yeegads! That man is 44? I would have guessed 64 if I had to pick a number. This is why if anything ever happens to my husband, God forbid, I am embarking on a life of celibacy. Yick. My husband will be the only old man I ever sleep with.
Moving on: the cast is assembled in a faux Hollywood Hills home environment, which was apparently the stage on which they filmed The Golden Girls! Thank you for being a friend, Bea Arthur! Heather, Gretch, and Tammy Sue are couched on Mr. Andy’s left, and Vic and Assy are on the right. My first thought is WOW, we’re seeing some large and in charge hair tonight. In fact, everyone has unusually large hair except…. Assy, of all people. Who would have thought? Tamra and Gretch are both in red dresses with big sparkly Elizabeth Taylor necklaces. Heather’s wearing some blocky lace dress that’s probably very expensive and does nothing for me. Assy is in an innocent looking pink ruffly dress that she’s tweeted about 27 times is from her Assy Couture dress line, and Vic is in tight and white, the usual.
Things start easy with the usual nonsense and laughter, and Mr. Andy uses the words “betwixt and befuddled” to describe his reaction to Vic’s NEW FUR COAT. Vic says it was appropriate for the weather and she loves it, so this is obviously before PETA got to her, or she had to return it. With the preliminaries over with, it’s time to take on topic #1.
Alexis
Yes, let’s start with Assy. She is at the top of the alphabet, anyway. Does she ask Jumbo for permission? Is he controlling? Heather says yes, Assy says no. It might not work for everyone, she acknowledges, but at least she and Jumbo are still married. Oh snap! Things quickly get snippy between Heather and Assy. Heather thinks Assy was just as rude about her as Heather was about Assy, but Assy got all worked up about it while Heather brushed it off. Assy is still smarting about Heather saying she’s “not cerebral”, and she obviously hasn’t looked it up because even she’d have to admit that’s an accurate assessment. In fact, I think she’s said so herself in more regular words. Heather thinks Assy was rude to call her pretentious and disparage her career. Gretch tries to suggest that it went both ways, but oh no you don’t, says Assy, waving her pointer finger in the air. Gretch will not go outside. Gretch will not use the phone! Heather can’t understand why it’s not possible to have a normal conversation about adult subjects with Assy. Assy thinks normal adult subjects, like mortgages, are private topics. I don’t know, I don’t think anyone wins here. Let’s move on.