Ermagherd, I am back from my grand tour of the greater midwest and back to Bravo. I missed two whole weeks of Housewives and no, I can’t say I really noticed. Nor am I going back to catch up because it’s back to school week and I have a lot on my plate, so we’re all going to have to go on together from here and rehash the exciting parts in the reunions.
The news, the big news, the ONLY Housewives news of the past few weeks, is obviously Teresa and Joe Guidice’s federal indictments for fraud and conspiracy. Friends, these two are screwed. There’s not a chance in hell this would be happening if the US Attorney’s office didn’t have a complete, shatterproof case, and frankly we all know how incredibly brainy these two are so I can only imagine the paper trail they have left behind. Joe’s done for sure, and if he’s convicted on the identity fraud case related to the driver’s license deal he is going to be in much hotter water as far as these other fraud charges go.
Teresa’s whole lifeline is going to be the idea that if she goes to jail who will take care of the children? Often with married couples with minors the wife is given leniency and the husband takes it in the caboose, hard. If Joe’s going to be deported, which I frankly think he secretly hopes will happen anyway, the Justice Department will probably feel he hasn’t quite gotten his just desserts and Teresa will have to do even more time for it. Of course the Guidice’s are sure that this is all happening because of their “fame”, and I’d say there’s some truth in that: their notoriety (better word) has made them a prime opportunity to be made an example, and frankly they probably drew a significant amount of attention to themselves and their activities through their relentless pursuit of overexposure. All making significant jail time more likely, and Jacqueline’s season-four anxiety, which infuriated Teresa as some sort of disloyalty, even more justified. Teresa behind bars: no spinoff now.
The more intriguing aspect of all this for me is exactly that: what will Mr. Andy do with RHONJ now that this has happened? I think we can all agree the show is a little past tired and worn even without this wrinkle. There’s no way these issues will be discussed on camera, because the Guidice’s will be either formally gagged or advised not to discuss by their attorneys for fear of revealing anything new. Frankly, the show itself has provided plenty of evidence over the years (who remembers Teresa’s first scene at the furniture shop with the wad of cash provided by Juicy Joe?) and ANYTHING the Guidice’s might do in carrying on their ridiculous lives in the house that fraud (allegedly) bought them will either inform or inflame, so I can’t imagine their legal advisors would permit their ongoing participation, even assuming Bravo stooped that low in the first place. And without Teresa this show is in search of a plot. I think we’re done here, personally. Hope the rest of the cast has been storing up their acorns for the endless, Bravo-free winter to come in New Jersey.
So that’s about all there is to say about that. Let’s get back to the Winter Wonderland, shall we?