A surprise week off – did you miss me? Hope spring is springing where you are. We’re off for a long weekend tomorrow, heading to the greater San Diego/OC area which is not planned as reconnaissance but hopefully will be full of Housewifey surprises. I am packing my center-boob-medallion babydoll tops and my hot pink velour sweatpants. Oh, and my visors. Can’t forget.
So during the interlude: mostly news from the greater California area. A few tidbits from NJ and ATL, but I think they were mostly attention-seeking and low-content so I can’t be bothered. Here’s what I’ve got:
• There was some stupid event in LA a few weekends ago called “Night of a Billion Reality Stars”. Jon Gosselin was there, changing scenery from his Unabomber cabin in Pennsylvania; also Kyle Richards, Tree Guidice, The Glands, an assortment of Bachelor/ette famewhores, and more than one person I have never heard of in honor of Svedka Vodka. Gretch and the Magical Penis, never ones to skip a party with free drinks, were also on hand, as well as an angry “debt collector” who went after Slippery Slade screaming about the $130K he owes his babymama. No flour thrown. Slade’s attorney, who gets paid while the babymama doesn’t, told TMZ they are looking into whether she is behind the whole thing in order to get a restraining order, because as a mother of a child with cancer who is massively underfunded on child support she has nothing better to do than hire hecklers to appear at K-list reality TV social events. Gretch, for her part, started Twatting about how the Magical Penis is the victim here and really the babymama is the crappy parent. That girl really knows how to make people love her.
• Also on the OC side of things, per RealityTea.com Peggy Tanous, who wisely ran for her life on the first episode of this season, is trying to get a new reality TV gig with a show about MILFs. “MILF”, or I guess “MILPH”, stands for “Mothers in Life, Passion, and Health”, per Peggy’s Twit. Holistic health is a major part. I really don’t get it, and so far no one knows where this is going, if anywhere at all. Best of luck to Peggy. I will be unable to think of anything other than the Rats of NIMH should it make air.
• And finally, OC-wise, our Vic spent last week aboard the Royal Caribbean Oasis of the Sea, with stops in St. Thomas, the Bahamas, and St. Maarten. How do I know? Because she was asail with my friend’s brother and sister-in-law! Also joining Vic was a mystery man who I can only assume to be Donn2 and another couple. Vic kept to the adult deck (as the ship was overrun with unruly children on this function-over-luxury cruiseliner) where they could enjoy the casino and adult comedy club. Although my source never saw Vic in actual daylight, she thought she looked prettier and skinnier than she does on TV. I wish Vic nothing less than looking better than she does on TV.
• Moving north to 90210, did anyone see Mo on Shahs of Sunset this week? He’s a bossy old witch, isn’t he? Without the camel I honestly couldn’t tell if this was the actual House of the Engagement Orgy or not. But whatever. Loved the indoor baths.
• Leaks are saying that all the RHOBH Season 3 contracts are out, and everyone is coming back except Camille (as we have known) and Dana. The ladies continue to deny.
• In addition to the rumored new Wife Marisa Zanuck, Mr. Andy is supposedly also pursuing Yolanda Hadid, former model and new fourth wife of songwriter David Foster. And now let’s play As the Reality Wheel Turns:
o Yolanda Hadid is married to David Foster
o David Foster’s third wife was Linda Thompson
o Linda Thompson’s prior husband was Bruce Jenner
o Bruce Jenner’s current wife is Kris Jenner
o Kris Jenner’s first husband was Robert Kardashian
o Robert Kardashian was OJ’s attorney
o OJ’s nemesis is Faye Resnick
o Faye Resnick’s best friend is Kyle Richards
o Kyle Richards’ nemesis is Brandi Glanville
o Brandi Glanville hosted a party at a friend’s house in Malibu and invited the mother of the former Princes of Malibu (Brody & Brandon Jenner), Linda Thompson
o Linda Thompson tried to break up the fight between Taylor and Camille by getting all airy-fairy about the ocean
o Camille has now been replaced by Linda Thompson’s replacement.
o And there you have it. The Circle of Reality Hell is complete.
• In other news, per TMZ Mauricio did apparently leave Rick Hilton’s real estate company and launched The Agency, which currently has the listing for the house Michael Jackson died in, price $23.9MM
• On the legal side of things, per Courthouse News Service the company that insured Russell Armstrong’s life for $1MM is refusing to pay the proceeds over to a trust for his son because his son’s mother cannot provide proof that the trust actually exists. She needs a copy of the trust agreement. If no agreement can be found, the proceeds will be payable to the Armstrong Family Trust. And who do you suppose has authority over and beneficial interest in that? Perhaps someone who doesn’t want to open a briefcase containing important papers? Who may be relegated to FOH (Friend of Housewives) status on season 3? Hmm. The plot thickens….
• Continuing the theme of Housewife litigation, per RadarOnline Camille’s new boyfriend Dimitri is in the midst of a custody disagreement with his babymama who wants to move to Colorado. In a recent taped deposition of Dimitri, the mama’s attorney played an audiotape of Camille threatening the mama with all sorts of defamation-lawyer whoopass if she “went to the press” with something. While our Camille’s statements are not especially ladylike, it all seems a bit suspicious and self-serving to the mama to me. A phone call takes place, taping occurs, something is said to Camille that causes her to react in a highly defensive and unusually aggressive manner. Could it possibly be a threat to make Dimitri consent to the move or she’d do something to embarrass her publicly? I think that girl may be our of her element. PS photo of the mysterious Dimitri was attached and he’s a hirsute hot tomato!